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COYOTE ARCHIVE
Dick Prosapio aka, Coyote is a member of the TMC Advisory Council, ceremonialist, psycho-
therapist (ret.), author, leader of men's experiential workshops, & Co-founder of The Foundation for Common Sense. He lives with his wife and daughter in Stanley, NM
For more info about Dick Prosapio, visit his web-site:
Spirit/ Earth Path
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Vampires
by
Dick Prosapio © 2003
We have a friend who is in relationship with a vampire. You know the kind I'm talking about right? This is the kind of person who sucks the life of the person they are in relationship with, contributing next to nothing and expecting, even demanding, everything from the other.
You can tell which person is the vampire and which is the victim because the victim always looks tired. The vampire, on the other hand, always looks hungry for even more attention and service from the other.and yet always seems well fed.
Vampires come in both gender packs, the male types used to be called "gigolos" the females "gold diggers". But the one label that fits them both over time is the blood sucker called a "vampire".
Here is a typical vampire scenario; she works full time, he can't hold on to a job. She will bring in most, if not all of the income, he will find ways to spend it on himself or on frivolous pleasures while she continues to try to scramble to put the necessities on the table. If she complains, he will create a "reason" why things are the way they are and avoid taking any responsibility for making changes. If she gets fed up, and here's where the real vampiring skills come into play, he will begin a manipulative dance in search of every button available to bring the situation back into his favor. Everything is on the table for play here, temper tantrums, whining, crying, promising-to-change, yelling, pleading, begging, guilting, shaming, blaming, helplessness, playing victim, and of course threatening and promises of suicide if any changes in the act are demanded. All of these are the tools of the professional vampire and will be utilized as needed.
As mentioned, vampires come in both male and female packaging but the "act" is invariably the same, modified by how much drama and even possible violence the other partner can be expected to tolerate without actually pulling the plug.
Vampires are experts at picking victims who have a large capacity for guilt and want to play at saving someone from some sort of ultimate fate. No matter what the vampire may say or use to keep the game of sucker and suckee going, the way it plays out is simply this; "You couldn't possibly mean to abandon poor little ol' me to what will inevitably be my death could you?"
Victims caught in this play are experiencing an old, old metaphorical story, the myth of Persephone'. This may seem to be a story that is limited to females, but, in fact, both men and women play it out. Persephone' is called upon to go to the underworld to bring back her "beauty", her power. She faces the usual challenges and problems along the way, one of which is a drowning man whose hand reaches out to her as she crosses a bridge on her way to her goal. Her task is to refuse the rescue. Doing this puts her in control of her natural nurturing urges so that she is in control of her life and not run by them. The male version of this is Ulyses, tied to the mast (to reality) by shipmates, to help him resist the call of the Sirens and thus lose his sense of purpose. A man must do this task with the help of other men; a woman must find it in herself to control the impulse to sacrifice herself in service of another. Paradoxically, the woman will learn to sacrifice much of herself for her children for a time, and a man will learn that he will be called upon to sacrifice himself to "causes" which serve the greater society.
The perversion of these instincts occurs when the female is not in control of the nurturing instinct, which then becomes a never-ending cycle of rescuing the most inappropriate people. And the male finds himself in a constant position of self-sacrifice for someone who appreciates none of it.
When asked why each does this over and over again sooner or later this word will be used to describe the one rescued or sacrificed for; the word is "potential". What it stands for is that the rescuer cum victim sees, or thinks she sees, the true heart of the other and really believes that with just a little nurturing and sacrifice on her part, the heart of the other will feel unafraid to soar. And they both will be the better for it.
This is exactly what the vampire feeds on, the desire of the rescuer/sacrificer to "save" another.
What an elegant dance this is, vampire and victim, locked in a cycle of guilt, blame and baseless hope. And one of them, perhaps even both, will call it "love."
Dick Prosapio ©2003, All Rights Reserved
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