What Happened to Accountability

LIVING HISTORY
October 2000

What Happened to Accountability?

It seems to have happened right after World War ll. The twin traumas of the Depression and the War which threatened our security to its very roots gave rise, as the men and women returned to the peace time reconstruction of their lives, to an effort to make things better, especially for their kids. "I want my kids to have all the things I couldn't have when I was growing up." was the typical mind set. This included not just "stuff", but also a greater latitude of freedom. We had been very frightened by the '30's and '40's, we didn't want to be frightened anymore.

Came the '50's, and this was not, as some would have us remember, a "simpler time", it was a time of any-minute-we're-all-going-up-in-a-mushroom-cloud, hardly a foundation for any feelings of security. This gave rise to what-the-hell-we're-all-going-to-die-anyway-might-as-well-let-it-all-hang-out. Then the '60's and free speech and obvious governmental betrayal, and you-can't-trust-anyone-over-30.

What happened as a result of all of this, and the strong influences of television versions of how dumb families were, was an elevation of children to the status of adults and the reduction of parents to caricatures and simple minded buffoons. This is particularly true when it came to the depiction of fathers and men in general.

I know, I know; this is all very simplistic and there have been and are MANY more factors involved in the past fifty years of history, but this isn't a book, and I'm not invested in doing footnotes, so here's the down and dirty of it as I see it. Maybe you agree.

The diminishment of authority, any authority, in our society beginning at the family level, continuing into the schools and the government and the workplace, has bred a generations; no! generations of people who feel they don't have to be accountable to anyone for anything. Hook this up with the idea that all that counts is "ME" because you sure can't trust "them", mix in liberal doses of indulgence and entitlement and you've got individuals who don't feel an allegiance to anyone or anything beyond their own desires and wants. In short, spoiled children and bewildered parents.

In families, many parents will not take strong stands on much of anything because they don't want to set limits and thus take on the mantel of being "authoritarian". But in throwing out the oppressive aspect of this role, we have also let go of the need for somebody being in charge. In the name of not making our kids or ourselves uncomfortable, we put them in charge.

We encountered the legacy of this when we found that authorities in our state (New Mexico) were routinely surprised that we actually wanted action regarding our kids runaway and truancy. Not only were they surprised at our wanting something done, they were also surprised at our persistence and insistence that something be done. Some even laughed at us in discomfort over our insistent behavior because, they said; "Most families give up after awhile." Why some families give up is not just a refusal on their part to take a stand, that IS a part of it, but in addition there exist innumerable built in blind alleys and complex legal mazes set up by the system to frustrate any action by parents regarding controlling their kids. And the kids know, even if we do not, that they are not going to be held accountable for much of anything anyway.

In schools it's manifested in the practice of social promotion, cloaked in the guise of it's-best-for-the-kid-to-not-be-embarrassed-by-being-held-back, one of the weirdest pieces of rationalization ever put forth for no-consequences-for-no-effort, this practice tells kids that there is no point in doing the work anyway because it's meaningless.

We all know about no accountability in government. At the local and state level it's a game more easily seen than anywhere else. Take our stateplease.

The number of runaways is down in recent years. Hey! We must be doing better right? Wrong! The state simply lowered the age at which runaways are considered a problem. It used to be 16, now it's 15. But the fact is, nobody really seriously pursues a runaway unless he or she is 12. And guess what, the kids know this too. We didn't. We operated under the delusion that we had legal backing. Funny thing, actually PATHETIC thing is, the National Runaway Hot Line thinks so too. If you call them they will tell you that being a runaway in this state is definitely a legal problem for the child. They will tell you that about truancy too. Both statements are false. Nobody does anything about kids who runaway and/or drop out of school because they don't feel like attending anymore.

And in the workplace; how many people have you come in contact with who are totally incompetent at their jobs and continue to hold them because they have seniority or clout or nobody can be found who is responsible enough to do it well? Examples we have run in to; a State Police cruiser gets dispatched to our house to cover this problem we are having with our daughter and the dispatcher sends him on a long wild goose chase off on the wrong road because the dispatcher is in a hurry and doesn't, routinely according to the trooper, get the directions right. Other dispatchers we have run in to during this chaos have given us totally wrong information regarding who is empowered to do what; "Our policeman cannot go to that address." Or, conversely; "Oh yes, our policeman can go into that apartment." Etc., etc. Here's another sample; we ask; "If we discover that our daughter is in this apartment with another minor, can we get her?" "Yes of course. You have a right to go in and get her because you are her parents and if that person refuses to allow you to get her they are legally liable for blocking your access to your daughter."

One day later and another phone call on the same subject; "Well, you can't actually go in to the apartment if the person refuses you access. And if your daughter refuses to come out you can't go in and get her."

So what we are left with is that sources of information are not accountable for accuracy and kids are not accountable for anything after 12. And I'm really not sure about that either. In fact, the only people who ARE accountable for anything are parents who seem to be seen by the system and the kids as responsible for everything.

Well, our daughter has hired a lawyer to get her emancipated. It will be very interesting to see if the system supports a 16 year old runaway dropout whose main complaint about us is that we won't allow her to; "smoke weed." to become an "adult".

And who will be accountable for what she becomes with that kind of sanction?

Return to top of page
Back to The Men's Center Home Page

Back to The Men's Center Home Page
Back to Coyote