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Dr. Marty Nemko is among the nation's most sought-after experts on both career and education issues. Marty has been interviewed in hundreds of major media--from the New York Times to the Los Angeles Times to ABC.com.
He has been career coach to over 2,000 clients, and has a 97% client satisfaction rate.
His book, Cool Careers for Dummies is the #1 rated career guide in the Readers Choice poll and made the Wall Street Journal national business bestseller list.
His column appears on Page 1 of the Sunday San Francisco Chronicle's employment section. It ran for three years on the front page of the classified section of the Sunday Los Angeles Times.
Many of his writings have been published online on monster.com, careerbuilder.com, aol.com, and msn.com.
He was the one man in a one-man nationwide PBS-TV Pledge Drive Special, 8 Keys to a Better Worklife.
He is a frequent guest on CNN, ABC, and PBS. He is the regular career and education expert on CNN Local Edition.
He is in his 17th year as the regular career and education expert on the Ronn Owens Show, the #1 rated talk show in Northern California. He has been the primary source for dozens of articles, including in the New York Times and Washington Post.
He is in his 16th year as host of Work with Marty Nemko, a popular talk show on an NPR affiliate in San Francisco.
He holds a Ph.D. from UC Berkeley and subsequently taught there.
Visit Marty at www.martynemko.com
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Editorial... |
Men's Career Issues.
by
Marty Nemko © 2004
Most career issues apply to both sexes, but a few are gender-specific. In honor of Father’s Day, here are my thoughts on some men’s career issues.
Consider non-traditional careers.
Some traditionally female careers are, for the right guy, unusually rewarding: nurse, librarian, teacher, editor, graphic designer, for example. And in the case of nursing, the job market is good and salaries high. A real man chooses a career that seems right for him without worrying that it’s not a “manly” career.
Used wisely, male aggressiveness is a strength.
Do not listen to those who say aggressiveness is a bad characteristic, to be repressed into an embracing of passivity and teamwork. Use your aggressiveness as a wise warrior would use a weapon: its power can be used to great benefit to yourself, your employer, and the world, but it must be used judiciously, sometimes even surreptitiously.
Do not confuse aggressiveness with anger.
Angry men are usually unsuccessful in the workplace and may place their health at risk. If you find yourself angry at someone, try to replace the fury with empathy that that flawed person is probably doing the best he or she can. Be grateful that you have greater abilities.
If you are angry at your life’s situation, please remember that if you are living in the Bay Area and do not live with chronic pain or late-stage terminal illness, your quality of life is probably better than 95+% of people on the planet. Fortune has smiled upon you. Go through life with a spirit of gratitude.
Do not uncritically accept that you should be the primary breadwinner.
Each couple must discuss this openly and fully. In being the primary breadwinner, are you forced to take a job that makes you unhappy or overly stressed? Would you be much happier in a lower paying job? Would it be fair for your wife to take on more of the financial responsibility even if she’s not at home as much with the kids? (The evidence does not suggest that stay-at-home moms’ kids do better.) Should you do more of housework? The parenting? Fortunately, there are no rules—there is no more “men’s work” or “women’s work.” Each couple should craft for themselves the division of labor that best accommodates both spouses’ strengths and preferences.
Consciously decide how you want to react to reverse discrimination.
No employer will admit it publicly, but in many, although certainly not all workplaces, women receive favoritism in hiring and promotion over men who are more qualified and willing to work longer hours.
You could try a lawsuit, but that very chancy and exhausting. Or you could make a career of changing conventional wisdom that reverse discrimination is a net good.
If you don’t want to pursue either of those options, get over it. Reverse discrimination is a fact of life today. It’s bad enough that you may be treated unfairly. There’s no need to let it destroy your peace of mind. That reminds me of the story of Massoud and Tarik on camels in the middle of the desert. Suddenly a marauder gallops up, robs them of their money and rides away. Massoud is distraught while Tarik remains calm. Massoud sputters, “How can you stay calm?” Salim replied, “He robbed me of my money. I won’t let him also steal my peace of mind.”
Forestall aging.
Men die six years younger than women, and it seems that more men than women in their mid- to late 50s show a significant decline in physical and mental capability. Some of the cause is probably physiological—the current theory is that estrogen protects.
But you do have some control. Because men are at-risk of earlier decline, it’s especially important that men do what they can to forestall aging and disease. I’m not telling you anything new here, but perhaps this is a wakeup call to get serious about controlling your weight, not smoking, drinking no more than moderately, and doing regular moderate exercise. Scientists are finding that your mother, in the end may have been right: Walking may be the best exercise.
I’d also recommend thinking twice about any extreme diet, including Atkins. Like most fads that preceded Atkins, anything extreme too often ends up having unwanted side effects. And even in terms of just weight loss, a recent study found that although for the first six months, Atkins dieters lose more than other dieters, after a year, they’re equal. See your doctor before beginning any diet, but you may be on the safest ground by following the just-released FDA guidelines that rejects Atkins and calls for a well-balanced diet: not too many carbs, not too few. Focus on whole-grain rather than refined-grain carbs. Keep your calories down by avoiding high-fat foods. The FDA, perhaps surprisingly, also says a glass of wine a night is okay.
Advice I’d Give My Child
Today, men are often portrayed as lesser than women. School textbooks, college professors, sitcoms, movies, even newspaper and magazine features tend to portray women as the good guys and men as testosterone-poisoned boors, crooks, and abusers.
The fact is that most men are hard working, goal-oriented, and straight-shooting. The world needs both men and women. Don’t forget it.
Copyright 2004 Marty Nemko, all rights reserved
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