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Laura Jones is a junior Anthropology major at Tulane University in New Orleans, Louisiana. This article is based on a paper Laura submitted for a course titled The Anthropology of Women and Men.
Ms. Jones met with and interviewed several members of NOMC in the course of her research for this paper.
About herself, she says, "... I have interests in women's studies, psychology, and archaeology. Last summer I did excavation work in Pompeii with the U of Bradford, U.K. I am extremely interested in studying people and culture, today and in history. As for the New Orleans Men's Center, I chose them because my class, The Anthropology of Women and Men, was doing single gendered group "field work." Other groups presented included the Girl Scouts, NOW, Creative Memories, and other women's organizations. I was one of two students to research a men's group (a guy did his frat), in a class that is supposed to be about both genders! I chose the NOMC because I knew nothing about them or about the Men's Movement. My women's
studies classes are very narrow and downplay men's issues."
Email Laura Jones at:
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Guest Article... |
The New Orleans Men’s Center: Modern Men Overcoming a “Detached” History
by
The New Orleans Men’s Center (NOMC) is a community of men who actively choose to celebrate their manhood, free from the bindings of “traditional” masculinity. The NOMC is truly a kinship of men, in that members develop strong rapports, friendships, and even closer, familial-like “clans.” The group, founded in 1990, is based on the same principles of other, analogous men’s circles, which are consequent of the late, twentieth century’s “men’s movement,” according to on informant (interview, April 7, 2002). These groups usually describe modern masculinity in similar terms as the Male Manifesto, which says, “Men are beautiful. Masculinity is life affirming and life supporting. Male sexuality generates life. The male body needs and deserves to be nurtured and protected.” This notion of manhood is a bold movement beyond the conventional, “masculine mystique,” which characterizes the “stronger sex” as “detached,” “competitive,” “sadistic,” “self-interested,” and “aggressive,” (NOMC 2002). Essentially, as one informant summarizes, the NOMC “is an arena where men can communicate about issues that are unique to the male,” (interview, April 7, 2002). Once within this group setting, a man is safely released from his so-called mystique, and he is able to finally become a person who is more complete than a man - a human.
Many of the center’s men are working to remedy long-term wounds. One member admits, “I grew up without positive male models…” Finally, with the NOMC’s support, he was able to learn “how to tear down the façade [he] thought [he] had to have to survive,” (NOMC 2002). Other NOMC members concur that many of men’s troubles have resulted from a detached and often completely negligent socialization of boys of the American culture (interview, April 7, 2002). An analysis by James Garbarino says that the country suffers from “cultural proscriptions that equate masculinity with the capacity for violence…” Society raises men to “swallow anger and hurt” so that “deadly petulance usually hides some deep emotional wounds, a way of compensating through an exaggerated sense of grandeur for an inner sense of violation, victimization, and injustice,” (Kimmel 2001:143).
In March of 2002, U.S. News & World Report published an expose on the aforementioned “deadly petulance.” The article documents that men, on average, will die six years earlier than women, and this discrepancy is not attributable to inborn, natural differences. On average, men pay less attention to their health, and do not know how to handle stress. They are closer to fewer people, and when upset, they are more likely to isolate themselves or drown themselves with work or alcohol. New studies find that depression is probably the cause of the male midlife crisis, and these middle-aged men are four to five times more likely to commit suicide than women of the same age. The study reports that “a handful of researchers, unwilling to take the early demise of men as a biological given, are starting to look at males as a total package of biology, psychology, and culture” In addition, the same public health officials declare that “male gender alone is not an ‘uncontrollable risk factor’” – as the American Heart Association has stated. The experts suggest that men learn to address their emotions, in order to improve their overall wellness (Brink 2002).
Groups such as the NOMC help men to find their words. Verbal guidance and inspiration is often first attributable to Rumi, an Afghani poet from the thirteenth century. Rumi’s widespread appeal is at least partially due to his dual understandings of Jesus and Allah, as well as his involvement in both homo and heterosexual relations. Having such a plethora of influences has allowed the poet to transcend the ages, to maintain significance in contemporary time, and to appeal to a universal audience. Men’s groups, especially, appreciate Rumi’s teachings, which appear in form from parable to love letter, and essentially, act as a working bible, (NOMC 2002). Rumi practically prescribes the formula for a “new age” sect in his writings on the previous page. Here, he mentions learning “how to love” and “how to make poems,” and he later refers to “drumsound,” (Rumi 1995:122-123). Both poetry and drumming are essential, communicative arenas for self-expression and “healing.” “Poetry is used to expose feelings. It is therapeutic, and it is a way to express feelings without offense,” (interview, April 7, 2002).
An NOMC man writes, “I cry for my daddy / for he can't cry for himself,” in a poem entitled “God, Grandpa, Daddy & Me,” (NOMC 2002). Members often share their pieces at their bimonthly meetings and during the semiannual retreats. This man’s words disclose his long-standing conflict with his father. A common theme in the poetry is the heritable “mystique,” which predictably inculcates each successive generation. Modern men need to learn how to openly love, and supposedly, women cannot teach this “progressive” lifestyle, while fathers regularly neglect to try (Drums 1991:51). Many men in the NOMC enter into the group hoping to heal from similar, testing relationships. Oftentimes, the problematic relationship is a couplehood. Because the group encourages listening, as well as soliciting needs, the NOMC has had a positive effect on one informant’s marriage. All members participating in the men’s community are searching for an outlet in which they can securely discuss their lives (interview, April 7, 2002).
One man describes his recent healing and reveals his newfound perspective, “I have been told I am in denial and I agree / My denial is a powerful protective device for me… / I have learned that when the will is really free it cannot be sick.” He later writes, “I choose peace and health while others may choose pain, suffering, … and insanity,” (interview, April 17, 2002). He refuses to deny his ability to sense and feel. He denies, or rather defies, society’s artificial constructs. Thus the relationship he is working to resolve is not with another individual, but he grapples with culture itself. The poetic process, universally and enduringly, has functioned as a therapy. It provides the individual with an acceptable medium in which he or she can verbalizing him/herself without having to comply with the rules of “inoffensiveness” and “correctness,” (interview, April 7, 2002).
Drumming is also a key means for articulating the soul. This method of verbalization is at least twenty thousand years old, and its use has not changed throughout history. A well-known “new age” drummer has said that drumming is undergoing “one of its periodic returns to fashion.” So-called “drummer therapists” are finding practices, at least in California, which are target for ample criticism; however, supporters quickly identify that the drummer therapist is a historically and cross-culturally significant role. Such advocates view drumming as holistic and praise it as “humanity’s first big advance in medical technology,” (Heeding 1991:52-53). NOMC men say that drumming, which occurs at the beginning of every gathering, sets the tone for the rest of the meeting. Drumming creates “ritual or sacred space,” and it also helps the group to attain unity. Also, drumming is said to be “energizing,” (NOMC 2002). One informant explains that drumming is just plain “fun,” (interview, April 7, 2002). Being able to depart from inhibitions is a crucial step in the healing process. According to one drummer, the act is “a source of strength and confidence for people who are lost in the rush of civilization,” (Helm 2000:XVI).
Anthropologists would probably assert that Western men are suffering from “emotionalistic illnesses.” Men’s groups use “personalistic” vocabulary to describe their dealings. is a cross-cultural comparison of male initiations rituals. This text introduces and applies “shamen,” “spirits,” and “magic” to Western men’s worlds. This terminology is paired with an equally “naturalistic” set of rituals. NOMC members base many of their practices on Native American and African themes (interview, April 7, 2002). “Men are victimized by nothing less than industrial civilization, which has stolen the father from the home, alienated man from nature… (Drums 1991:51). Thus, men’s groups naturally refer to nonwestern societies for cues on how to be more “down to earth” – literally. The NOMC explicitly draws on the “tribal” themes with its grouping into “clans.” The active clans are Wolf, Crow, Snake, Spirit, and Bravemen (interview, April 7, 2002).
After the NOMC meeting at large, the individual clans meet. Because the NOMC meetings generally have around twenty attendees, clans, usually five to eight men, allow for more interpersonal communication. According to one member, these groups are about “changing the self. They are not about changing other people.” The clans encourage men to express themselves, which Western physicians and researchers are now prescribing, too. One informant came to the group at his therapist’s recommendation. The group is largely publicized in this manner, via word of mouth. In “regular” patient to therapist treatments, the patient does not have the benefit of hearing other men’s simultaneous experiences. Thus, the listening factor, which is key to achievement according to the NOMC, is lacking in conventional, solitary sessions. The informant who explored his therapist’s suggestion has found the group setting to be key to the success of his self-searching (interview, April 7, 2002).
Inside the group, no specialist is present to psychoanalyze a situation or to prescribe a pill. One informant explains his views of over Western medicine and over prescription, “We are a drug society. Ninety-nine percent [of people] don’t need drugs. They need to shift their view of the world,” (interview, April 17, 2002). NOMC’s style of self-treatment is foreign to most Westerners. Everyone is of equal status, no leaders give direction, and a member’s level of involvement is completely self-determined. Time is the only commitment that an individual will need to give in order to benefit, as membership is free. The men represent all areas of the socio-economic spectrum; however, most of the men are European Americans. One informant says that the group is open to all types of men and hopes that other races will be comfortable enough to join in the future. The group already represents a spectrum of sexual preferences and ages, from “hetero” to “homo” and from twenty to seventy years. Most men join the group in their midlife. While many members oftentimes relocate or have other reasons to stop attending meetings, they are encouraged to stay in touch. Many men return for the retreats, which often include men from other, regionally local men’s groups, as well as the “old” members (interview, April 7, 2002).
The only prerequisite for membership is a Y-chromosome. An informant says that he hopes a New Orleans Women’s center will be founded soon, and then the NOMC and the NOWC could mingle and subsequently learn from each other (interview, April 7, 2002). When asked outright, “Why can’t women just join your group?” the interviewees simply state that the meetings’ climates would not be as productive as possible (interview, April 7, 2002). One informant says, “Women already do [the NOMC’s work] in other forms. They tend to be more open as it is.” The NOMC focuses on beginning to communicate, and men benefit from undergoing the learning processes together. Because boys and girls generally socialize distinctively in American culture, each of the two sexes has its own limitations to focus upon, in order to gain new perspective. One of the men confides that men and women’s shortcomings “have nothing to do with male or female.” He alludes to gender conditioning, and says that, “women’s health is beginning to decrease, as they add the responsibilities attached to so-called men’s world. Because women are beginning to take on the breadwinner’s responsibilities, we are starting to see traditionally male problems overwhelm their lives.” This informant predicts that an NOWC will be founded soon. Later he says that talking eventually, “changes the unconscious mind. Groups help us [to create a new perception],” (interview, April 7, 2002). If true, then everyone can benefit from a group.
Email Laura Jones at:
Copyright 2002 Laura Jones, all rights reserved
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