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Editorial... |
The First Men's Rights Congress:
Birds of a Feather?
by
Jim Bracewell © 2004
The First National Men’s Rights Congress was held on July 18-19, 2004 . I’m sure you must have already heard about it via newspaper, the Internet, radio and/or television. No? Well, I couldn't find anything in the media either. Since I was there, I’ll do my best to bring you up to date.
When Tom Golden called me about the conference I was intrigued. I knew Tom from reading his book about men and grief, Swallowed by a Snake. We also have occasionally exchanged email messages.
I was a bit apprehensive when Tom said the conference was entitled “The First Men’s Rights Congress.” In the past I had run across some men’s rights activists who seemed as spiteful as the women they accused of being male hating “Feminazis.” It has never seemed effective to me to fight hate with more hate.
Tom assured me that this conference was an attempt to bring together the various aspects of the men’s movement in order to work toward common goals. I have had that dream since 1989 when I first got involved in the “Men’s Movement.” But it seemed more-and-more impossible as time went by. The movement was and is fragmented with hundreds of isolated men running a variety of organizations that are often focused on a single issue.
I came into men’s activism through the "mythopoetic wing" of the 80's men’s movement. The men I encountered helped me to start healing the shame I felt about being a man. That powerful beginning initiated my search for the source of my shame. As I became more empowered, I realized that being a man did not make me a bad person.
After attending the First Men's Movement Leadership gathering in 1989 in Minnesota, I started a local Men’s Council with monthly meetings. With the help of the men who joined the council, we started several weekly support groups and a yearly statewide men’s gathering in the mythopoetic style. We did all of the things you may have read about in the media at the time. Such as, creating ritual space, passing the talking stick and sweat lodges.
I should mention here that I have for some time been confused about what to call this movement. When someone brings up the Men’s Rights Movement, I believe that most people, including myself, think they are talking about legal issues like divorce, custody and/or visitation.
Then there’s the Men’s Movement of the late 80’s that received so much media coverage. Because that coverage was often mocking and critical, many people conjure up images of naked men drumming and dancing around a fire circle. Having been to many such men’s gatherings, I would like to correct those grossly mistaken impressions. I was never naked.
The groups that I started lasted for about eleven years and then seemed to run out of steam. We couldn’t decide on a direction to head in and we couldn’t seem to bring in many new people or keep the ones we originally attracted.
I came to believe that there was too much emphasis on indigenous-American ritual and culture. In my opinion, American men from a wide variety of ethnic traditions cannot and should not try to recreate or copy cultural traditions that took thousands of years to evolve. It takes community to do that and we had a very, very small community that only met once a year. It needed to be more mainstream and relevant to our contemporary culture. I finally turned over leadership and began concentrating on my two male-positive websites, TheMensCenter.com and MENSIGHT Magazine.
Since becoming involved in men's issues advocacy, I have read everything I can find that relates to men. Eventually, I came to believe that there are many valid issues that men face today. Issues such as:
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Divorce courts giving preferential consideration to mothers. |
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Men being the last group to be openly ridiculed and denigrated and yes, abused, with little protest. |
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Infant baby boys being routinely circumcised without a medically valid reason. |
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Boys falling further and further behind girls in our education system. |
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The rape of men in prison being looked on as just punishment for their crimes. |
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Women usually getting lesser sentences than men for the same crime. |
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A significant percentage of men who are tested for paternity proving to be falsely accused. |
Though there are many more men’s issues, there is one that really sums it all up, at least for me:
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Men die, on average, 5-6 years earlier than women. |
Why is that? What are we men doing or not doing that kills us sooner than women? My father died when he was 56 years old. Could he have lived a fuller life if help was available? I’m still looking for the answer.
It seems to me that we men first become aware that there is a problem when we hit the men’s issues wall. I got involved when I had a near death experience from recreational cocaine use and got into counseling. Some men get a wake up call when they lose their home and their children through a contentious divorce. Many have heart attacks or other life threatening illness. Some men have experienced a series of disastrous relationships. Many men just want to know why they seem to be blamed for everything bad that happens.
It doesn't matter where they start, men need to wake up to the dangers of being a male before it's too late. I believe that these men need a place or organization to go to for help, support and information. That includes legal, emotional, psychological, spiritual, financial and medical help. All men's issues are interrelated and need to be addressed.
I decided to go to the Men’s Rights Congress to see if there was any hope of the fragmented men's movement finally coming together. The first day was planned as a lobbying day. I had to work that day so I could only go to the one-day conference on Saturday, June 19, 2004.
The conference was held at the Carnegie Conference Center in Washington, DC. I arrived shortly before the opening statement by Glenn Sacks. Glenn is a men's and fathers' issues columnist and a nationally-syndicated radio talk show host. His Side with Glenn Sacks, can be heard on KMPC 1540 AM in Los Angeles and on KKOL 1300 AM in Seattle.
Here is the conference schedule:
Welcome – Tom Golden
Glenn Sacks, opening statement
Mike DeGenoulis (New Hampshire Men’s Commission)
Dave Burroughs (Domestic Violence)
Carnell Smith (Paternity Fraud)
Stephen Baskerville (Family Courts)
Dean Tong (False Accusations)
First breakout session
Glenn Sacks - Male Bashing
Dave Burroughs - Domestic violence and men
Dan Lee - Law and Custody
Second breakout session
Jack Kammer - African American Men and the Men's Movement
Ron Grignol - Helping Divorced Fathers See their kids
Michael Gough - Virtual Visitation
There were about 60 men present representing various men's issues. Most of the viewpoints I had already heard or read about. I didn't expect too much to be accomplished at this first gathering. I was just glad that this seemed like a hopeful beginning.
You might want to read the Men's Rights Congress online booklet. It contains a more in-depth description of the issues and many of the presenters.
I was gratified that throughout the day, I heard none of what could be called women bashing or a polarized political agenda. Many of the presenters made a point to say that they were not opposed to women's rights. As Jack Kammer, author of Good Will Toward Men, said, “This is not about the Left or the Right but about moving Up!”
After returning home, I happened to hear a black television commentator make a statement that, though it was about American politics, was equally relevant to what I came away with from the Men's Rights Congress. He said, “It takes a left wing and a right wing for a bird to fly.”
In a real and metaphorical sense, I hope this (Men's Rights Congress) bird flies. What I heard from the men gathered on this day gave me hope. Let’s learn how to fly together. It's vital that we do so for the sake of all men, women and children.
Jim Bracewell, president, The Men's Resource Network, Inc., a 501 (c)(3), non-profit org.
Visit The Men's Center.com: http://themenscenter.com and
MENSIGHT MAGAZINE https://mensightmagazine.com
Copyright 2004 Jim Bracewell, all rights reserved
The First National Men’s Rights Congress
"MEN AND BOYS DESERVE BETTER"
READ THE MEN'S RIGHTS CONGRESS BOOKLET
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