On-line Resources for Fathers

by   © 2000

Looking for information about a particular fathering concern? Not satisfied with the usual lone chapters in the back of the pregnancy books? Can’t get to the bookstore? Well, stress no more. The world of fathering, and parenting advice for that matter, has taken a dramatic leap forward from the days of Dr. Spock’s baby book, thanks to the Internet.

Whatever side of the baby boom you fall on, all you need is Internet access and with a few clicks, scrolls and entries, you can be introduced to web sites of interest to every kind of modern father. Whether you just want to a more involved dad, are going through a separation, are a gay or new father -- if you have questions about fatherhood you can probably find pertinent information and tap into a variety of networks and resources to suit your parenting needs at the same time. Whichever search engine you use, the best results are found by doing a search on dad, dads or fathering.

Sites such as The Fatherhood Alliance, www.fatherhoodalliance.org are part of a larger organizational endeavor. The Alliance is "a nonprofit organization in formation, designed to assist fathers from all walks of life to develop positive relationships with their children and families…" Generally, each web site includes a mission statement and, in this case, there are information pointers for 13 categories of fathers, from teen fathers to grandfathers. Resource links are available for father groups local to the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area in North Carolina where the alliance is based.

The Fatherhood Coalition, originally the Coalition for the Preservation of Fatherhood (CPF), www.fatherhoodcoalition.org, however, is more advocacy oriented -- providing information on legislation, political action and research geared to promoting "shared parenting," and ending "discrimination and persecution faced by divorced and unwed fathers." This site includes articles on CPF’s role in legislative actions, CPF commentary and the now-infamous Elian Gonzalez case, along with over 30 other articles on related topics. Links provided can even help fathers retain legal assistance for their particular needs or you can contact the Father’s Rights Equality Exchange directly at www.dadsrights.org and consult with a father-friendly attorney on-line, for a small fee.

If you are facing a new role as primary caregiver and your problem is not too little time with the kids then check out the sites for Stay-at-home dads(SAHD). These are usually more community oriented; most attempt to provide fathers with a support network, not only on-line but in town, too. A few of these are: Men at Work: Stay-At-Home Dads, www.parentsoup.com for learning about parenting issues; 1^st SPOT Fatherhood, http://1st-spot.freeservers.com that has a lot of links to other fathering sites; and the At-Home Dad newsletter, www.parentsplace.org. This last site is among the best because it offers a Dad-to-Dad network. Despite the wealth of resources one can tap into on the Internet, it is perhaps the personal connection that is most valuable. Subscribers receive a quarterly newsletter that also contains a listing of other dads throughout the country, categorized by state, usually with e-mail address or phone number so that you can contact those in your area. Subscribers can also purchase a handbook on starting a dads group in your own hometown. The At-Home newsletter provides the most tangible opportunities for such connections. The summer 2000 issue also announced the 5^th Annual At-Home Dads convention, scheduled for November 18, in Des Plaines Illinois. (For more information about that contact Dr. Robert Frank at .)

If it is research or reading that you want, web sites are your best and cheapest option. If you do not have time to root around in the bookstore, one of the better sites for reading material is the Men’s Issue page, http://www.vix.com/men/. It contains an index to over 1,000 subjects. Other benefits of on-line parenting sites include recipes, electronic purchasing offers and an unusually large amount of funny anecdotes designed to cheer you up while you change the diapers.

If it is organizational involvement that you crave, pull up http://www.vix.com/men/orgs/orgs.html, where you will find over 125 local, regional, national and international organizations dealing with a very wide range of men’s concerns. Or you could learn how to enroll in boot camp for dads, by looking up the article that came up on a search at http://www.themestream.com.

Whatever your circumstances, you have nothing too lose by checking out these sites. Maybe you will not meet a fellow dad up the street with whom you can pal around with, but it is worth the effort. Steve, the proprietor of Seahorse, a site for SAHD’s, (www.geocities.com/catalystsr/seahorse.html) aptly describes the need for building community amongst fathers who are primary caregivers. "Even guys at home with kids say they are too damn busy [to get together], but in the next breath will say how isolating it is to stay at home with the kids all day." His and other sites like it offer some of the best ways to break that isolation, either with personal contact or just by reading about others in the same boat as you. Surf’s up!

  writes a monthly column called Focus on Fathers for Baltimore's Child.  Focus on Fathers is dedicated to helping today’s fathers and other men in caring roles enhance bonds with their children, family, and community.

MENSIGHT

MENSIGHT About Archive Links Advertise Library TMC Home 17 More Fathering Sites SPONSOR Syndicated careers columnist Dr. Marty Nemko offers open public access to his archive of career advice: How Do I Become  a Sponsor?