Male Menopause.
by Jed Diamond.
Naperville, Illinois: Source Books, 1997.
Jed
Diamond has written and Source Books has published an ambitious, very
attractively designed book whose very title is likely to provoke
skepticism and jokes. Male Menopause?
Diamond is very serious, and he tackles his subject
head on. The book opens with a "Hot Flash" section (cute title) which
summarizes some of the key points to be addressed. He is not shy to
set forth analogies between the male and female experiences of midlife
transition even while acknowledging that when he himself started
researching the subject he never expected to find such startling
parallels. Male Menopause addresses both the physical and emotional
changes men undergo as they approach and cross midlife. It also delves
into spiritual challenges that men confront as they pass into the
second half of their life, such as the maintenance of health and
sexual vitality, and the quest for "sex and love on the second
mountain."
The reader is likely to find himself or herself
experiencing a complex reaction to this work. Certainly it is
gratifying to see a personable, dedicated men's activist and author
create a work with such high production values which proves so
compellingly readable.
Diamond makes adroit use of his courage and talent
at introducing pertinent stories from his personal life into a broader
narrative. I made particular note of his willingness to share with the
reading public his conversations with doctors about his difficulties
achieving erection, a subject most men would find hard to discuss even
with their partner or best friend. I enjoyed his great skill at
weaving personal and general/political information together in a
nearly seamless fabric.
He also has some original insights to share. For
women, he writes, hormonal shifts have been emphasized at midlife
while psychosocial changes have been neglected, while for men the
reverse is true. (This is an interesting reversal of our normal
tendency to associate psychological/emotional issues with women and
physical issues with men.) Later Diamond reexamines our programmed
role differentiation as it related to sexual jealousy. His analysis
suggests that while evolution selected for women who were more
threatened by their mate and another woman having an emotional
connection than they were by a sexual connection, it selected for men
who are more concerned about sexual fidelity.
I also appreciated the practical tips regarding what
men should do to prevent prostate problems: drink lots of water (your
urine should be light in color), have an active but moderate sex life,
eat plenty of soy foods, reduce saturated fat intake, and eat meals
rich in tomatoes. His discussion of the numbness and death he now sees
in young men's eyes in place of the confusion and rage he used to see
is downright terrifying and brilliant.
Clearly Male Menopause offers much of great value.
At the same time, the book is far from perfect. I frequently felt like
Diamond strained to shoehorn the broad range of male issues he
discusses into his somewhat artificial male menopause theme. He seems
to have difficulty finding an authorial voice for the book which he
can sustain through the various different topics he addresses. I
frankly find it difficult to believe that men's hormonal cycles are
comparable in intensity to those of women. Also, the book's
presentation and structure would have benefited from more forceful
editorial input. At times its tone struck me as overly popularized,
apparently slanted to a fairly low common denominator.
More critically, despite his awareness of men's
issues, Diamond often shies away from even some obvious points which
he really ought to be making. When he writes about domestic violence,
he starts by asking, "Why are men so violent against women?" without
addressing women's equivalent but far less widely acknowledged
domestic violence against men. A few pages later when he gets around
to discussing men's victimization by other men, he still fails to
mention female-on-male violence. Perhaps even more surprisingly, he
fails to address circumcision in the main text of the book despite the
fact that it significantly contributes to one of his major
topics--American men's loss of sexual sensitivity as we age. And
Diamond discusses the theory of evolutionary psychology, which posits
a "surplus of redundant males" who "can be assigned to the dangerous,
high-casualty 'perimeter' tasks on which physical security and
survival are based" but fails to analyze the crisis of the disposable
male which has thus been created. We live in a world in which 94% of
workplace deaths affect men and only men are considered expendable on
the battlefront. Many men don't even make it to male menopause or
arrive there as physically wasted hulks due to the sacrifices they
have made for family and society. Surely this was worthy of at least a
mention.
While Diamond's strategy of avoiding or finessing
controversial issues may make his book easier to digest for Americans
media-fed with the familiar story of the bad male and the virtuous
female, such missed opportunities seem highly regrettable.
Male Menopause succeeds much more completely as a
reference book than as a work of art. And yet, partly because of its
accessible format and style, it has the potential to be the book that
educates many thousands of Americans regarding men's health issues and
more general political and emotional crises affecting the male gender.
Just the resources section alone is worth the price
of the book. Despite some idiosyncratic choices such as the omission
of the National Coalition of Free Men as a men's rights membership
organization, and a number of inaccuracies in phone numbers and web
site addresses, the range of resources cited is truly invaluable and
admirable.
For all its flaws, Jed Diamond's latest book again
bears the distinctive stamp of his unique courage, wisdom, and
commitment to men's work. With Male Menopause, he has truly put the
"men" back in menopause. Male Menopause may prove itself one of the
two or three most influential men's books to appear this decade.
©2000 J. Steven Svoboda
