How Do You Know It's Love?
by
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D.
© 2007
Real love and real romance, the kind that lasts a
lifetime, that’s what most people want.
So why does dating have a bad rap? And why do more than half of all
marriages end up in divorce?
The answer’s pretty clear when you look at what most people settle
for, or worse yet, put up with.
But, the fact is, there’s a world of deep
spiritual connection, great adventure, and rich unfolding romance .
. . all available when you know what you’re looking for . . . and
how to let love lead every day.
In our twenty years of being together (nineteen married) we’ve
conducted an ongoing, informal survey of couples who obviously have
remarkable relationships.
Young and older, they all shared several things in common.
1) The other person was not their type.
2) There wasn’t instant chemistry.
3) They very often met in a way that was unusual, unpredictable, or
at least unexpected.
4) They frequently had significant differences.
These are just a few real life examples: :
Religion—Christian and Jewish, Buddhist and Agnostic
Politics—Democrat and Republican, avid campaigner and non-voter
Nationality—German and Japanese, Chinese and Jewish
Age—16-21 years apart
She’s Older—11-20 years beyond his years
She’s Taller—she’s 6′2″ and he’s 5′9″
5) One or both people were often in debt or some kind of financial
stress.
6) One or both were in the middle of some kind of business or career
upheaval . . . or . . .
7) Frequently what the other did for a living was initially quite
unsettling—one southern princess fell in love with and married a
sewer maintenance supervisor, an elegant
five-star hotel event booker fell in love with and married a
thoroughly tattooed truck driver, and a conservative, home-body
father of two fell in love with and married
a free-spirited adventurer who travels in her work.
8) Often, one of them was married or not yet divorced when they met.
So, bottom line, some aspects of these outstanding relationships
came from beyond what they’d imagined, beyond their previous ideas
and experience of love.
And all of them had the same experience we’d had.
Whether it took days, weeks or sometimes months, they realized
without a doubt that this was the relationship of their lives.
How did they know it was lasting love?
As we did and still do, all of these people experience the challenge
of their differences as a profound spiritual teacher, expanding and
enhancing their experience of living and loving.
And, just as it remains true for us today, twenty years after
meeting, all of these couples remain committed to letting love lead.
Wherever love takes them, they follow—heart and
soul—knowing that while real life love isn’t always easy, it is
always the finest transformational magician they’ve ever known.
And the ultimate reward for letting love lead? Deep, joyous
appreciation for being together. Every day!
Bestselling authors of four
relationship books, Judith Sherven, PhD and James Sniechowski, PhD
have redefined the future of weddings. From now on brides AND grooms
will be co-partners every step along the way. Be sure to read your
complimentary 2-chapter excerpt from their new book, "The Smart
Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams." Just go to http://www.smartweddingcouples.com
Enjoy relationship information at
www.themagicofdifferences.com
For more information about Judith & Jim go to
www.thenewintimacy.com
To book Judith & Jim for a media appearance, corporate training, or
private
coaching contact them at
jimjude@direcway.com
