Free to be You in Love and Romance
by
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D.
© 2007
Because we live in a world that still
rewards conformity while, at the same time, stressing the need to
strive for excellence, it's important to understand that this
schizophrenic, societal underbelly sabotages most people's love life
every day.
The dating scene is distorted, with preening, posturing, and faking
it by insecure people who don't yet realize their own, one-of-d-kind
value.
Marriages come apart when one or both people can't surrender and
relax into the beauty and joy of being truly loved.
So how do you develop the freedom to be exactly who you are, each
and every day, no need to prove yourself or suffer the anxiety of
never knowing your value?
That kind of Peace of Mind can only come when you give up the idea
that you need to learn more skills or techniques, improve your bond
portfolio or be funnier, sexier, smarter, you name it.
And how do you do that? By realizing that the only care and acclaim
that has any real value is the kind that comes to you for being
exactly who you are.
Pretty simple, right? But why is it so difficult to live . . . and
love that way?
Because it's so contrary to everything we all learned growing up.
Our parents demanded particular behaviors in order for us to avoid
criticism and punishment, much less feel loved. And the love we
received was on their terms, not for who we REALLY were.
And school, church, social clubs, organized sports, and the friends
we hung out with were little different. Fit in, act like they wanted
you to . . . or else.
It's ingrained in our psyches as "reality," "the way things are."
But THE FACT is You Are Truly FABULOUS in your own right, exactly
the way you are.
And it's that truth that is so hard to get, to REALLY GET, because
it runs contrary to everything you've believed for a lifetime and
how you've lived every day since you were little.
So, to relax and take more delight in your love relationship, know
that the only love worth receiving is the kind that comes to you for
who you really are . . . warts and limitations, brilliance and crazy
humor, headaches and fears, dazzling performances at work or on the
dance floor, you name it . . .ALL of who you are.
Will there be clashes and conflicts in your relationship? Of course!
REAL love always leads you into a rich exploration of your
differences and how each of you need to grow and change to enjoy
being even more fully who you are.
Will there be disappointments? Of course! Because you'll carry your
early programming about "how things should be" into your dating and
marriage only to discover that your best love partner comes from
beyond your imagination . . . and with all kinds of unexpected gifts
for you.
Will there be new realizations about who you really are? Of course!
Because when true love is present all that has never been loved
before will come to the surface. Because it can and because it must.
It can because the safety of real love allows for it. And it must
because without that freedom to be fully who you are, you'll never
know the incredible joy and beauty, freedom and fullness of Being
Loved For Who You Really Are.
So our wish for you this Valentine's season, is that you make a
commitment to give up being careful, hidden, and dedicated to your
self-doubt . . . in favor of allowing real love to come to you more
and more as you honor the truth of who you are . . . and only permit
people in your life who do the same.
Only then can you know real love and real romance!
Bestselling authors of four
relationship books, Judith Sherven, PhD and James Sniechowski, PhD
have redefined the future of weddings. From now on brides AND grooms
will be co-partners every step along the way. Be sure to read your
complimentary 2-chapter excerpt from their new book, "The Smart
Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams." Just go to http://www.smartweddingcouples.com
Enjoy relationship information at
www.themagicofdifferences.com
For more information about Judith & Jim go to
www.thenewintimacy.com
To book Judith & Jim for a media appearance, corporate training, or
private
coaching contact them at
jimjude@direcway.com
