Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski are Best-selling co-authors of  Be Loved for Who You Really Are : How the Differences Between Men and Women Can Be Turned into the Source of the Very Best Romance You'll Ever Know

Dream Big, Dream With Love

© 2002  by
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D.

The celebration of the new year is the oldest of all continuing holidays. It was observed 4000 years ago by the ancient Babylonians and has continued, with only minor interruptions, into modern times.

Anything with a history that long and enduring clearly has deep significance for the human psyche.

Perhaps it's simply a celebration of being alive, having made it through another circle of the sun. But for many of us there is also the recognition of death and rebirth, a letting go of what has been and surrendering to what is yet to be.

Philosophers make the distinction between "being"--that which already is (symbolized by Grandfather Time) and "becoming"--that which yearns to be born (represented by the New Year's baby wrapped in a fluffy white diaper).

In western civilization, there is the symbol of the kiss. After all, at the stroke of midnight, it is customary to kiss the one you love What does that have to do with any of this? That kiss can be seen to symbolize the
enduring power of what has been. More important, it expresses the promise, the future of your love.

That love, the kind that recognizes, values, and admires you for who you really are, is what most people believe is the most sought after experience in life. And it certainly is exhilarating when the one we love sees us and knows us and says "YES!"

But what about that self in the future? Who we want to become, our dreams and aspirations, our ambitions and the images we hold of what we know is possible. After all, who we are is mostly composed of who we've been. But who we will be, that's a matter of imagination, desire, and commitment.

When lovers cherish one another's hopes and desires they embrace and lift up for one another that new future. It is a psychic space into which they can grow individuallyand as a couple.

This new year, respectfully ask yourself, "Where am I going?"and listen humbly for an answer. You are calling on your soul to speak, to show you more of what is possible.

Also, as a sign of deep and respectful care for the one you love, sincerely ask "What do you want?" and "Where do you see yourself going?" This not only demonstrates your support for what may be possible, but offers powerful encouragement to search and discover, and then in due time--go for it.

And what could be a better time than New Year's Eve to talk about where the two of you have been in the last year. Embrace all the success, and humbly value the challenges, for they have all prepared you for what is yet to come. Then open your imaginations and make a list of what you want to focus on and accomplish in the new year. Don't censor or edit what you imagine. Acknowledge what you each want to become individually and what you want your togetherness to look and feel like by New Year's Eve 2003. You can imagine it as a personal Board of Directors meeting with your souls guiding the outcome.

Your New Year celebration then becomes an expression of hope and desire, an honoring of what has been accomplished and survived and what is yet to come. It is an affirmation of what awaits you within and without. And it is a declaration of your commitment to the voice that urges you to be more, to open your heart and mind even more fully to what life and love have in store.

Dream big, dream with love. Only then can you create a future that is far more fulfilling than anything you've ever known. Only then can you may bring forth dreams and goals that, once fulfilled, will also make the world a better place.

We wish you a very Happy New Year!
And may you enjoy it all year long!!

Copyright 2002 Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James
Sniechowski, Ph.D., all rights reserved

Husband-and-wife psychology team Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D., are the bestselling authors of Be Loved for Who You Really Are : How the Differences Between Men and Women Can Be Turned into the Source of the Very Best Romance You'll Ever Know (Renaissance/St. Martin's Press 2001, paperback edition
early 2003 from Griffin Books)

Judith & Jim also provide workshops, seminars and lectures to singles and couples nationally and internationally on all issues of gender and relationships. They also consult to corporations on these issues. They've worked with 100,000 people to date.