Confusion
by
Dick Prosapio
© 2002
The confusion many parents seem to have over their
kids using pot seems to have two origins. The first is that some
parents have used pot in the past. Or maybe they are using it now. And
they probably feel, as I do, that the legal response to marijuana use
is the wrong way to go. Secondly, there is a fantasy that pot isn't
really a drug. It's just this benign "thing" and what's-the-big-deal?
It's not a problem; "It's just pot." "It's just an herb." It's God's
gift to us." etc., etc.
What we get as a result of this is that a lot of
kids are using at younger and younger ages. This can't be a good thing
no matter how much research says that pot is not all that harmful. And
just what does, "not all that harmful." mean these days?
The November 4th issue of Time did a story on the
latest reports. They addressed several issues including, "Is it
addictive?", and "Does it make you feel stupid?" The conclusions to at
least these two questions were; "..the risk of becoming dependent on
marijuana is comparatively low." Only (italics mine) 9% they
say as opposed to a 15% addiction potential to alcoholand, they quote
a Harvard psychiatrist arguing that, "......we must live with
uncertainty" on whether pot causes long term cognitive impairments.
I'm supposed to feel relieved by this? Your chances
of being killed in a game of Russian Roulette are just 16%, wanna give
it a try?
Here's what I know about pot and one kid, our 18
year old daughter. I know that as a straight "A" student in her last
semester of high school her "reinvestment" in the drug scene caused
her to, 1. Drop out of school. 2. Get fired from her job because she
was too stoned to show up. 3. Move out of our home, and to date, our
lives, because she values "using" more than she values her family.
Mind you, she had been through this merry-go-round
once before. She used, dropped out of school, ran away from home,
lived in squalor for about a year. Then came back to resume school and
work and, barely a year later, began again. This sounds like, looks
like and feels like addiction to me. It quacks like a very real
duck.
And it seems incredibly stupid to me too. It
certainly doesn't look like a bright move does it? Like something
someone in full charge of their faculties would do?
And how about this "statistic", a friend of ours
began smoking at 15. He didn't stop, and his life didn't begin again,
till he was 48! In between he ripped off friends, lost jobs, betrayed
the trust of parents, relatives, friends and co-workers, dropped out
of school and never finished anything he started.....except a drug
deal. Does this sound like "not all that harmful"?
This pot issue is all mixed up with our drug
enforcement policies and political oppressiveness and the parents who
were once pot smoking teens still doing knee-jerk reactions to their
unresolved problems with authority. Even their own. They are confused
about how to take a stand, or even whether it's right for them to have
one. Well, here's my view of it. First of all you are parents now, not
teenagers. You are supposed to be the ones in charge. There must be a
change in perspective when you have kids that you are responsible for.
Secondly, if your kid was taking a half pint of Johnny Walker to
school everyday and swigging it down between classes, would that look
OK to you? Would you rationalize that somehow saying, "Oh well,
they're just experimenting." "Hey, that whiskey is aged naturally."
There is no real difference here. Whether it's a
toke or a swig, getting loaded as an on-going behavior is not an
appropriate or healthy experience for a child, and no studies will
support the idea that it is whether the subject be pot, crack, booze,
meth, Ecstasy, or you name it. Experimentation is one thing, beyond 16
say, but using? No way!
The only way the use of pot by teens will stop is by
parents, teachers, counselors and cops changing their own attitudes
about, "It's just pot." and taking a stand with kids. A strong stand.
That means really getting involved if your kid is using. "Involved"
means more than "being a pal". It means taking charge and discovering
if they are using and then doing something to stop it. Maybe finding
out if they are using because they are depressed or just because it
seems like a lot of fun. Maybe even getting them into treatment for
substance abuse. Into Al-A-Teen, Al-A-Non......... something! And it
doesn't have to be voluntary. Government programs are not going to do
it. You have to.
Of course first you would have to see their using as
a bad idea to begin with. If you don't, your kid may be on the way to
becoming, as ours has, one of that mere 9% who are "stupidly
addicted". Is that what you want as a potential outcome for your kid?
