The Betrayal of the Military Father
by
Glenn Sacks © Copyright 2003
When Gary, a San Diego-based US Navy SEAL, was deployed in
Afghanistan in the wake of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade
Center, he never dreamed that his service to his country would cost
him his little son. Gary's son was not taken from him by a terrorist
or a kidnapper. This 17-year Navy veteran with an unblemished
military and civilian record was stripped of his right to be a
father by a California court.
Gary's story, which was the subject of a two-part Fox News feature
called "SEAL, Sorrow" earlier this year, is not an unusual one.
Under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act, if
a parent takes a child to a new state, that new state becomes the
child's presumptive residence after six months. Because a normal
military deployment is six months or more, if an unhappily married
military spouse moves to another state while the other spouse is
deployed, by the time the deployed spouse returns the child's
residence has already been switched. Since courts lean heavily in
favor of a child's primary caregiver when determining custody, the
spouse who moved the child is virtually certain to gain custody
through the divorce proceedings in that new state.
Because of the strict restrictions on travel by active military
personnel, the cost of legal representation, and the financial
hardships created by child support and spousal support obligations,
it is very difficult for returning service personnel to fight for
their parental rights in another state. Many struggle even to see
their children, much less remain a meaningful part of their lives,
and the bond between the children and their noncustodial parent is
often broken for years, if not permanently.
Gary has not been able to see his son, who now lives abroad, in
nearly nine months. When he calls he can sometimes hear the three
year-old ask "when daddy come?" and "where's daddy?" in the
background but he is often prevented from speaking with him.
According to nationally-known family law attorney Jeffery Leving,
author of Fathers' Rights , there are three solutions to the
problems facing military fathers. First, the federal Soldiers' and
Sailors' Civil Relief Act of 1940 needs to be amended to
specifically prohibit the spouses of active duty military personnel
from permanently moving children to other states without the
permission either of the active duty military spouse or of a court.
(The primary purpose of the Act, whose origins go back as far as the
Civil War, is to protect active armed forces personnel by mandating
that civil actions against them be delayed until after their return
from service).
Second, California laws, which currently do little to prevent a
custodial parent from moving children far away from the noncustodial
parent, need to be changed to prohibit any permanent removals done
against a deployed military parent's will. Third, the UCCJEA needs
to be amended to state that the presumption of new residence does
not apply if the children are taken in this wrongful fashion.
Gary has lost nearly $100,000 so far fighting for his son and may
soon be forced to declare bankruptcy, which in turn will destroy the
top secret security clearance he needs for his job. Worse yet is the
emotional devastation wrought by his separation from his son and the
knowledge that he may never see him again. He says:
"My love for my son cannot simply be brushed aside as the courts
seem to believe it can. I can remember holding my little son's hand
like it was yesterday. I can remember his cry. I hear it every time
I hear another child crying."
"Sometimes I wonder what I risked my life [in Afghanistan] for. I
went to fight for freedom but what freedom and what rights mean
anything if a man doesn't have the right to be a father to his own
child?"
This article originally
appeared on the Glenn J. Sacks
Website
and appears here with the permission of the author.
Copyright 2003 Glenn
Sacks, all rights reserved
