When Dad Does
It, He's a Deadbeat and a Deserter,
When Mom Does It, She's a Hero
By
Glenn Sacks© 2007
"Child advocates on Wednesday
hailed the actions of a teenage mother who left her 8-month-old
baby girl at a fire station -- even though [the girl] was too
old for Florida's so-called safe haven law, which allows parents
to leave newborns up to three days old at a hospital, fire
station or emergency medical complex anonymously and without the
fear of a criminal investigation...
"'I think it was pretty
courageous that she recognized that somebody could take care of
the baby better than her,' said Scott Lindeman...'[the mother]
is very brave,' said Nick Silverio...'She did the right thing.'"
Orlando Sentinel, 8/30/07
The Orlando Sentinel article below
sings the praises of a mother who abandoned her baby at a fire
station. I don't exactly fault the mother--she's young and probably
distraught and confused--but I think the labels of "bravery" and
"courageous" are a little absurd. If it were a father who had
abandoned a baby at a fire station, even a young father, the words
for him wouldn't be nearly as kind.
I've
often wondered why women who give their children up for adoption are
often considered heroic ("they gave the child life and then allowed
it to go to a good home"), but fathers who feel unequipped to take
care of their children are vilified as "deadbeats" and "deserters."
I discussed this double standard some in my co-authored column
Respect a Man's
Choice, Too (8/1/06), written for the left-wing website
AlterNet.
The Orlando Sentinel article even
expresses sympathy for a mother who called a Florida child welfare
agency to ask if they would take her son--who was 12! Imagine a
father wanting to dump his 12-year-old kid on the state being
treated sympathetically.
Mom praised for leaving baby at fire station
Orlando Sentinel, 8/30/07
Child advocates on Wednesday hailed the actions of a teenage mother
who left her 8-month-old baby girl at a fire station -- even though
the law designed to save abandoned babies didn't apply to her case.
The little girl, apparently well-fed and cared for, was
too old for Florida's so-called safe haven law, which allows parents
to leave newborns up to three days old at a hospital, fire station
or emergency medical complex anonymously and without the fear of a
criminal investigation.
So detectives with the Orange County Sheriff's Office
were called in to investigate the 17-year-old mother and the events
that led up to her decision to surrender her child before sunrise
Wednesday.
"I think it was pretty courageous that she recognized
that somebody could take care of the baby better than her," said
Scott Lindeman, Orange County coordinator of Safe Haven for
Newborns.
It was shortly before 4:30 a.m. when there was a knock
at the door at Orange County Fire Rescue Station 27 on Novella Eliza
Lane in Apopka. The mother told firefighters that she had been
kicked out of her home and could no longer care for her daughter.
They tried to persuade her to stay, but she left,
providing the fire crew with food and diapers for the little girl
now being called "Alyssa."
"She felt this was her only option," Sheriff's Office
commander Jeff Stonebreaker said.
Medical checks showed the girl to be in good health,
and she was turned over to the Florida Department of Children and
Families while investigators searched for the young mother.
Detectives seemed to be concerned because the 17-year-old's mother
said she wasn't kicked out of her home.
Read the full article here.
Glenn Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in
dozens of America's largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his
website at www.GlennSacks.com or via email at Glenn@GlennSacks.com.
Glenn Sacks' columns on men's and fathers' issues have appeared in
dozens of America's largest newspapers. Glenn can be reached via his
website at www.GlennSacks.com or via email at Glenn@GlennSacks.com.
Copyright 2007 Glenn
Sacks, all rights reserved
