What the Hell is the Meaning of Life

by
Marty Nemko © 2005

When I was a teenager, I thought money was the answer. So, I took after-school jobs, and tried to buy my way into contentment: clothes, nice car. That didn’t do it.  

Then I tried noble work—teaching in the inner-city. But the problems those kids faced were so big, so multi-dimensional, that despite my trying hard, very hard, I felt I wasn’t making much difference.  

Next, I tried prestige: got a PhD from Berkeley, became a professor.  But in my social science field, I often felt like an emperor with no clothes. So much social “Science” is poorly substantiated, politically motivated theory. My students ate it up but I felt I was often feeding them ersatz food.   

I’ve been trying the values route: focusing on what did I most value: work. To that end, I decided to be a career counselor. I believed that helping people find right livelihood would make my life feel meaningful. But now, 18 years and 2,400 clients later, despite a 96 percent client satisfaction rate and the San Francisco Bay Guardian naming me “The Bay Area’s Best Career Coach,” that feels empty too. Some of my work—helping people to make the most of their current job—feels good. That helps them live up to their potential, and, in turn, their employer to provide good products and services. But too often, my clients come away with a plan they’re excited about but fail to execute. Even when a client lands a good job, I too often wonder if my efforts to package my client yielded a net negative to society: some more deserving person, who couldn’t afford a career coach, didn’t get the job.  

I particularly value meritocracy. I believe that more good accrues from ensuring a meritocracy than nearly anything else. 30 years ago that would have meant dismantling the ol’ white boy’s network. But alas, today, the ol’ boy network has largely been replaced by the Diversity Industry, all-powerful and hell-bent on ensuring that women and minorities get slots in colleges and employment even when less qualified. The Diversity Industry is so powerful, it has shut off dissent. I have tried prodigiously to protest the rampant reverse discrimination, to no avail. When I write politically correct letters to the editor, they’re routinely published yet when I write to protest reverse discrimination, my letters are always censored. I’ve had 500 articles and columns published, yet when I write about reverse discrimination, the pieces are deemed unworthy of publication. I’ve written a screenplay on the topic, Affirmative Actions, which the London Daily News said was “Sure to trigger a bidding war” yet no film studio would touch it. My first five books, politically correct, have been published and critically and commercially successful, having sold over 200,000 copies. Yet, I’ve just written what I believe is my best book, the politically incorrect “The Silenced Majority,” and it’s been rejected by 27 of 27 publishers. So, I’ve been totally censored, shut out. So much for living my values. Today, it seems that’s permissible only when your values are politically correct. 

Many people find the meaning of life through relationships. While I have a decent marriage, I’m not sure the meaning of life, at least for me, fully resides there. And my only child, who is an ardent employee of The Diversity Industry, refuses to talk to me, in large measure because of my views on reverse discrimination.  So, I won’t, as so many parents do, find life’s meaning through his children. 

Many other people find the meaning of life in religious faith. But I can’t find meaning in a God that would, for example, allow thousands of babies to be born every year with horrifically painful diseases and then die months later leaving bereft parents. 

Is that all there is? I’m in my 56^th year, with some health problems creeping in that remind me that the coming decade will probably be my last highly productive one.  I want to squeeze as much out of life as I can. How the hell do I do it? 

Here’s my current thinking, highly subject to revision.  It comes down to being nice to everyone possible: look for opportunities to give heartfelt praise, a kind letter to a long-long friend, an unnecessary gift, etc. Don’t expect anything in return--you too often won’t get it. Take pleasure in the giving itself. That approach to life will ensure you do some good, it doesn’t require Herculean effort, and you will feel good no matter how other people respond. 

But I’m not sure there isn’t more to wringing the most from life. Any ideas? Email me at mnemko@earthlink.net.

The San Francisco Bay Guardian named Marty Nemko “The Bay Area’s Best Career Coach.” His columns and an archive of his National Public Radio San Francisco show plus excerpts from his book, Cool Careers for Dummies, which, in the Reader’s Choice Poll was rated the #1 most useful career guide, are free on www.martynemko.com.

Copyright 2005 Marty Nemko, all rights reserved