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Maxine Marz is an expert safety/security consultant, strategist, writer and seminar presenter. She holds an undergraduate and graduate degree in Criminology from the University of Toronto and numerous accredited certificates in crime studies and deviant psychopathology. She has over seven years of practical experience in crime trend research and analysis, Victimology, CPTED (Crime Prevention Through Environmental Design), harm reduction and crime prevention. In May 2000, Maxine founded Fine Line Research & Consulting - a company specializing in safety and security consultation services for persons interested in increasing their personal safety and security. Maxine Marz can be contacted at: .
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Four Part Series on Husband Abuse... |
Part 4: Husband Abuse Aided by Social, Legal Biases
by
Maxine Marz
As noted in past articles on husband abuse, this silent crime of domestic violence and domestic abuse perpetrated by women against their intimate partners is more pervasive in our society than currently recognized or publicly acknowledged. The four primary reasons for its underreporting are:
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Lack of social and legal support systems to help protect the rights of abused men.
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Socio-political concerns that established efforts to help abused women will become undermined.
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Social gender bias that promotes women as being non-violent by nature.
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Fear and shame of abused men.
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The current belief that women are non-violent by nature needs to be dispelled. After all, women are equally capable of being abusive, aggressive and violent. This is observed by recent global trends of increased:
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Rates of girl gangs whose members are committing more violent crimes.
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Bullying committed by girls in schools.
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Workplace abuses committed by female employees and/or superiors.
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Infanticides committed by mothers.
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Women terrorists participating in hostage-taking and killing victims.
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As a crime researcher and analyst I often question what these increased trends in violence committed by women actually reflect. Is it that women have become more aggressive and violent in recent years? Or is it that women have always been capable of aggression but only recently their crimes are more likely reported by the media, charged by the police, and/or prosecuted in a court of law? Or is it a combination of both perspectives where the preconceived notions of a woman being perceived as natural nurturer, caregiver and non-violent by nature is being gradually shed not only by women themselves but also by society.
What remains interesting, though, is that while recent trends subtly affirm a woman’s ability to be aggressive and abusive, her role as an instigator and sole perpetrator of domestic abuse unfortunately continues to be dealt with some degree of trepidation.
So how should men deal with situations where their intimate partner is abusive? First, they should identify clear and distinct boundaries to their partner along with the course of action to be taken if such boundaries are violated. Remember, an abuser will push the envelope to both test the victim’s resolve as well as to reaffirm their power and control in the relationship. Therefore, victims need to be ready to follow up on an identified course of action. Otherwise, the abuser will have no incentive to stop being aggressive.
Second, if you sense your partner’s aggression escalating where you fear being physically attacked, simply leave the home. Go to your neighbors’, a friend’s or relative’s home and inform them of what happened. Telling others will help calm you down, afford you with emotional support and expose the abuser. Most importantly, it will also establish witnesses should you need them to testify at a divorce proceeding. It is also advantageous to bring someone back with you when you return to your home to resolve the argument or when picking up your belongings.
Third, keep a journal of all abuse incidents and names of people you told. Also take photos of injuries you sustained or property your partner damaged. If possible, tape-record and/or videotape altercations. Be sure to keep all documentation of abuse in a safe place away from your partner’s reach.
The road to ending husband abuse is a long and challenging one. However, it is not unachievable. What is needed is social vigilance, legal reforms and courage from abused men to bring this vile form of abuse to the forefront and into the public and legal arena.
Copyright 2004 Maxine Marz
Men’s Safety Seminar: If you were, or are, an abused husband interested in attending seminars on this topic please e-mail me at .
Originally Published in METRO Newspaper
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