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MEN'S CHAT
MEN'S ISSUES DISCUSSION BOARD
Click here to add this
ticker to your website
Third National Men’s Equality
Congress
July 13-14, 2007 in Washington D.C.
Boys and the Boy Crisis
 |
Book-of-the-Month...
March 2007 |
US
GUYS:
The True and Twisted Mind
of the American Man
by
Charlie
Leduff
 Heir
to Jack Kerouac and Hunter S. Thompson, Pulitzer
Prize-winning reporter Charlie LeDuff scours the
country, tossing back whiskey with the seedy,
the dreamy, and the strange in search of the
soul of the American male.
No one knows life's underbelly better than
New York Times reporter Charlie LeDuff.
Christened the "bibulous scribe of the working
class" by his peers, he's made a career
chronicling, with dead-on feel for character and
idiom, the gritty lives of the drifters, the
forgotten, and the strange-people washed up and
washed out on alcohol, broken dreams, lifetimes
of hard living. Willing to follow his subjects
where no respectable white-collared man would
dare go, he is clearly-and admittedly-a writer
"not for people who have doormen, but for
doormen." And while his wholly original coverage
of this beat has brought him acclaim as a
journalist, it has also made him something of a
working-class hero.
Who better, then, to examine what it means to be
a man in modern-day America? US Guys: The
True and Twisted Mind of the American Man is
LeDuff's equally intoxicated and intoxicating
journey across the country in search of the
heart and soul of today's American male. With
characteristic audacity, compassion, and humor,
he takes part in a Bacchanalian Burning Man
festival in Nevada, clad in a Mohawk and little
else; trains with the sadhearted Russian clown
of a traveling circus; leads a cavalry charge
down the Little Bighorn River with war
reenactors; joins a C-level professional
football team; infiltrates a West Oakland bike
gang that holds fight parties; travels with
Appalachian snake handlers and tent revivalists;
and covers a cowboy love story at a gay rodeo
("Not like the movie. Life is never like the
movies. Life is messy and complicated and
self-loathing and funny"). At each juncture
LeDuff faithfully records their religion and
sins and racism, their freaks and misfits, their
search for the American dream, and the sweetness
they find in living it out, if only for a
moment. Publisher
Charlie LeDuff was one of several
reporters who worked on The New York Times
series "How Race Is Lived in America," which was awarded
a Pulitzer Prize in 2001. He has been a staff reporter
at The New York Times since 1995. He recently
produced a ten-part television series of participatory
journalism called Only in America for Discovery
Times. LeDuff has covered the war in Iraq, crossed
the border with Mexican migrants, and chronicled a
Brooklyn fire house in the aftermath of 9/11. Before
joining The New York Times, LeDuff worked as a
schoolteacher and carpenter in Michigan and a cannery
hand in Alaska. He has also worked as a baker in
Denmark. |
|
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Columns, Articles and Men's Issues News... |
MEN'S NEWS TICKER © 2000 - Disable pop-up blocker
and click on headline for story details
BOOK-OF-THE-MONTH
EXCERPT...
by Charlie LeDuff
US GUYS:
The True and Twisted Mind
of the American Man...
"There are certain things an
American man should know. And if he does not know them, he at
least has been convinced that he should somehow know them, even
if they are a detriment to him.
"The
American man has been taught that while it is
better to avoid a fight, he should have been in
a fight; that honor cannot always be defended
with reason. He should never admit to fear. He
should strive to put the blade in his
adversary's chest, not his back.
"... He
should know how to ride a horse, bet on a horse,
bet on the stock market and bet on cards... The
American man should be educated. He should work.
He should honor his debts and live within his
means. He should be able to recite poetry and
have bits of true philosophy at his fingertips.
He should be able to play an instrument and know
how to help a rose grow. An American man should
dress and speak his language well... A man
should have children, and at some point his
children should reject him. And in the course of
his life, a man's children should return and
find virtue in him.
"This
is what an American man should be. Of course, no
such man has ever existed and no man probably
ever will."
GUEST
ARTICLE...
by Glenn Sacks and
Jeffery M. Leving
I Guess Things for American Women Are
Better Than I Thought
Feminist Fox News/NPR commentator Lis Wiehl’s new book The
51% Minority: How Women Still Are Not Equal and What You Can Do
About It informs us that “Women make up 51% of the American
population, yet still aren’t treated equally to men.” She highlights
the following complaints:
• A woman earns seventy-three cents for every
dollar a man makes.
• The law labels pregnancy a “disability.”
• Domestic violence remains the single biggest threat of injury to
women in America.
• The federal government continues to increase funding for
abstinence-only education, even though it’s proven to put our
daughters at greater risk for unwanted pregnancies and sexually
transmitted diseases.
• Health insurance plans are more likely to cover Viagra
prescriptions than birth control pills.
Let’s take these one by one:
Go to
Article
MEN'S WORKLIFE...
by
Marty Nemko
Gold Diggers
Are Alive and Well
I so
often see this syndrome in my female clients: She comes in
ostensibly wanting a career but finds an objection to every
option, except going back to school, which defers having to
work. Or she's done as much school as she can possibly justify,
agrees that a particular career goal is appropriate, but refuses
to do the work necessary to land a job.
When I ask, “Do you really want to work?,”
most say no. So often, they’ll admit that what they’d really
love is a man to support them so they can stay home—even if no
children are involved.
One of my clients, a 20-something project
coordinator for Sun Microsystems said, “If I could, I’d stay
home in a minute. And that’s true for all of my (female)
friends.”I was amazed by one of my clients, a recent graduate of
a prestigious college who fit that profile perfectly, saying
she’d love to meet a husband who made enough money that she
could be a full-time housewife. What amazed me was that she said
her most deeply held value is that women are constantly
oppressed.
I had thought the era of gold diggers ended in
the ‘60s with the women’s movement. But I’m here to say that
from where I sit, it’s still alive and well. Perhaps today’s
women, seeing their mothers not so happy in the workplace makes
them decide they’d rather stay home and have a man support them,
if they can find one.
Go to Article
COYOTE...
monthly column by Dick Prosapio
Creative... Me!...
I have
never quite had the nerve, if that's the word, the chutzpah I
guess, to call myself a "creative" person. Not that I didn't
want to be considered to be, but from the inside, I couldn't
quite make that leap. The recent couple of articles I wrote,
maybe three or four in the last few months, in which I expressed
my struggle with keeping the writing mill grinding away, are
windows into my psyche to be sure. The responses I received from
my loyal readership were heartening and funny and basically what
I would be saying to anyone else going through the same period,
at least I think it's a "period", of self doubt and free
floating angst.
One of the suggestions I got was that since I AM growing older,
maybe I should write about "prostate" problems and such. Well,
actually I have done that and since I'm not, yet, diagnosed with
prostate cancer I thought I'd let that sit for awhile... so to
speak. But hell, if it's "prostate" you want how about this; if
you're up more than once or twice a night to pee, get some
Terazosin (10 MG), it works for me and much better than the
herbal stuff like Saw Palmetto, which I took for years with no
discernable effect. As far as the dribble effect when it comes
to ejaculation, 'fraid I have no solution for that. Just make
do. And as far as diminished "interest", keep fantasy life alive
is the best I can suggest.
So that's about it on "aging" unless I start into the whole
thing about sagging, blotchy skin, memory defects, sore this and
that, and I really don't want to waste time on that can of
worms.
Oh, and the fears of dying any minute. And the realization that
never again will I be in the running for the "10" over in the
corner and... oh, never mind, it's all too horrible to explore.
Go to Article
GUEST
ARTICLE...
by Jed Diamond
Midlife Marriage Woes: How to Know When to Let
It Go
and When to
Work Harder to Keep It Alive
I see many people in my practice and have many
friends in my life who are in turmoil. They are at midlife or
beyond, have been married for a significant amount of time, have had
their ups and downs with their relationship, but now face a major
dilemma. Should I leave my marriage and move on with my life or
should I try harder to make it work? Some people are afraid of
leaving too soon. “I love this person and don’t want to let that go
if there is any hope we can re-vitalize our marriage. Others are
afraid of staying too long. “What if I stay and things continue to
go down hill. I’m afraid it will be too late to start over.” All
are in pain and all desperately want answers that are helpful.
I’ve found that having a successful later-life
marriage is never easy, but it can be the most satisfying and
gratifying relationship we can have in our lives. Based on my
personal experiences (I’ve been married three times), listening to
my friends and neighbors, and getting feedback from nearly 50,000
people I have counseled over the last 40 years I would like to share
these thoughts with you.
1. Let go of the myth of “happily ever
after.”
Most of us, I’ve found, have a very unrealistic
view of marriage in general and mid-life marriage in particular.
Many of believe that once we find the right person, everything else
will take care of itself. When we had “young marriages,” we
expected love to conquer all. For “mature marriages” we believe
we’ve learned how to make things work so we can coast into a joyous
old age together. In truth, it isn’t easy. Happiness can be
illusive.
Go to
Article
THE NEW
INTIMACY... monthly column by
Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James
Sniechowski, Ph.D.
How Do You Know It's Love?...
Real love and real romance, the kind that lasts a
lifetime, that’s what most people want.
So why does dating have a bad rap? And why do more than half of all
marriages end up in divorce?
The answer’s pretty clear when you look at what most people settle
for, or worse yet, put up with.
But, the fact is, there’s a world of deep
spiritual connection, great adventure, and rich unfolding romance .
. . all available when you know what you’re looking for . . . and
how to let love lead every day.
In our twenty years of being together (nineteen married) we’ve
conducted an ongoing, informal survey of couples who obviously have
remarkable relationships.
Young and older, they all shared several things in common.
Go to Article
JEFF'S LIFE... monthly
column by Jeff Stimpson
Retarded...
"Retarded"
as been used three times in the past six months aloud in my
office, usually in reference to someone - a vendor, a source,
someone who holds a job - doing something dumb. "That's
retarded!" "He's so retarded!" "I'm not a retard!" Each time,
the word flew right out of a cubicle, clear and loud, for all to
hear. I think anyone older than 5 could imagine many words that
would cause quite a stir, and a lawsuit, if they flew right out
of cubicles. "Retarded" and "retard," so far, don't seem to be
among those words.
Words change. "Special needs" seems to have
replaced "challenged," which replaced "retarded," I guess,
though I've come to this game relatively recently and may not
have the etymology right. "Retarded" has really stuck around,
though. I Googled the word and turned up more than 19.1 million
hits, including a band with the name (which somehow popped up
first among the 19 million), retardedhumor.com, "retarded animal
babies," and "movie criticism for the retarded" (which on Google
scores right ahead of "Declaration on the Rights of Mentally
Retarded Persons").
Go to Article
DADS, DON'T FIX YOUR KIDS...
monthly column by
Mark Brandenburg,
M.A
Fathers Are Needed!...
"I
think you need to work on your math skills a bit, those are some
basic problems you don’t understand.”
My daughter wasn’t overly thrilled with my “words of
encouragement,” and neither was my wife. They joined forces
against my verbal assault, giving me instructions on how to be
more encouraging.
I thought I was just doing my job.
Fathers and mothers parent differently. It is a reflection of
the differences between men and women. It is also the source of
a great deal of conflict between parents. Fathers take an
approach with their kids that’s more “blunt,” and that reflects
their concerns with preparing them for the real world. Mothers
take an approach that reflects their concern with their kids’
feelings, and how they’re doing in the world of relationships
with others.
Go to Article
|
|
Men's Book Reviews by J. Steven Svoboda |
LATEST
REVIEWS
REVIEW:
See Jane
Hit: Why Girls are Growing More Violent and What We Can Do About
it
By James Garbarino, Ph.D. ©2006
Seven
years after writing “Lost
Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them,”
James Garbarino, Ph.D., professor of humanistic psychology at
Loyola University Chicago, has published what could roughly
speaking be described as a companion volume, “See Jane Hit: Why
Girls are Growing More Violent and What We Can Do About It.”
Garbarino writes well, and his book addresses a topic that has
drawn significant interest in recent years, having been
addressed in at least four other recent volumes. “See Jane Hit”
is interesting reading for gender activists, since Garbarino
writes from a more mainstream perspective that uncritically
accepts some anti-male falsehoods, yet at the same time is a
generally thoughtful and fair-minded commentator.
READ FULL REVIEW
PURCHASE
REVIEW:
Straight Talk for Men about Marriage:
What Men Need to Know About Marriage (And What Women Need to Know
About Men)
By Martin G. Friedman ©2006
The author has put together an appealingly presented, male-friendly
guide to improving the quality of our marriages. As Friedman is the
first to point out, this isn’t exactly rocket science. We need to
learn to do the basics. A marriage is a path to learning about
ourselves. Projecting our discontent onto our spouse doesn’t do
either of us any favors.
READ FULL REVIEW
PURCHASE
REVIEW:
Self-Made Man:
One Woman’s Journey into Manhood and Back Again
By Norah Vincent
Norah Vincent has produced a new
book whose simple underlying concept nevertheless seems to possess
all the potential power of, say, John Howard Griffin’s classic Black Like Me, in which the Caucasian author masqueraded as a
black man and was astonished at the depths of the discrimination and
barriers he discovered. Author Vincent tries to do the same thing
for gender, dressing in drag as “Ned” and entering various supposed
male bastions to report on what she discovers.
READ FULL REVIEW
PURCHASE
REVIEW:
The Smart Couple’s Guide to the
Wedding of Your Dreams:
Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy
By
By Judith
Sherven and James Sniechowski
Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski, husband-and-wife psychologists
and authors of three books previously reviewed by me in these pages
(The New Intimacy, Opening to Love 365 Days a Year, and Be
Loved for Who You Really Are) have just published a new book on
their favorite topic, love and marriage. In a literal sense, The
Smart Couple’s Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams covers a
narrower subject than any of their three previous books. But
actually, predictably enough given the authors’ excellent writing
skills and tireless, creative devotion to promoting passion, their
latest offering manages to transcend the limits of the genre of
wedding guides. Not seeing a book that went beyond the
technicalities of wedding planning and touched the spirit of the
event, they took the plunge and wrote it!
READ FULL REVIEW
PURCHASE
REVIEW:
Partnering: A
New Kind of Relationship
By Hal Stone and Sidra Stone
© 2006
Hal and Sidra Stone are, like Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski
(whose latest book is reviewed elsewhere in this issue) a
husband-and-wife psychologist team who have written a number of
books and who travel the world giving workshops on their techniques
for improving one’s life and relationships. Partnering does
not represent a stunning advance on the authors’ previous work but
it does expand, in the specific context of relationships, on the
work they have helped pioneer in exploring the multiple selves each
of us contains through the voice dialogue technique.
READ FULL REVIEW
PURCHASE
REVIEW:
The Prodigal Father: A True Story of Tragedy, Survival, and
Reconciliation in an American Family.
By Jon DuPre.
Jon DuPre’s achievement with “The Prodigal Father” is stupefying.
What this correspondent for Fox Network News has done is so simple:
He has told the story of his family of origin, consisting of two
brothers, himself, and his mother and father. As a novel, the book
would fail. For one thing, the plot would be utterly unbelievable!
But “The Prodigal Father” is billed as an “autobiography,” and
written with loving detail and self-revelation so honest and so deep
that took my breath away. As such, it is utterly compelling and
simultaneously completely credible.
READ FULL REVIEW
PURCHASE
REVIEW:
Gendercide and Genocide
Edited by Adam Jones
© 2006
Apart from the rarest exceptions (such as the not-to-be-missed “Female
‘Circumcision’ in Africa: Culture, Controversy, and Change,” Edited
by Bettina Shell-Duncan and Ylva Hernlund), edited volumes tend to
be hit-and-miss affairs. It’s hard enough simply to find an
appropriate topic, to accumulate contributions that are varied
enough to provide interest but not so different that they work at
cross-purposes, and to publish the work. Maintaining a razor-like
focus as can easily be done with an individually authored book by
definition becomes almost impossible with an edited volume.
READ FULL REVIEW
PURCHASE
Archive of All Reviews & Interviews...
by J. Steven Svoboda.
|
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Guest Books |
MILITARY
HONOR ROLL... Pay tribute to the
Veterans or Active Duty military in your life on our perpetual
Military Honor Roll page
Go to
Military Honor Roll
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HONOR ROLL... Pay tribute to your
father (grandfather, great grandfather, etc.) on our perpetual
Fathers Honor Roll page
Go to
Fathers Honor Roll
VISIT
MENSIGHT Magazine
is another free service of The Men's Resource Network, Inc. (MRN).
It has grown out of the response that we have received from articles
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MENSIGHT
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