Your Teaching Moments are Waiting
by
Mark Brandenburg, M.A., C.P.P.C., C.S.C.
© 2008
“Here’s your water bottle, James!”
The eight-year-old snatched the bottle hard out of his mother’s
hand, and said, “give me that!” A chorus of nervous laughter
followed from the parents nearby, including the boy’s mother. James
sauntered off, without acknowledging his mother’s offering, or the
presence of the other parents in the group.
We were attending a youth basketball game, and the hallway outside
the gym was filled with parents and revved up kids. This kind of
interaction between children and their parents is not unusual today.
We all see examples of kids acting more aggressively around their
parents. And unfortunately, we all see examples of their parents
doing little to change it.
In a society with kids who are “plugged in” to TV, computers, and
video games for record numbers of hours each day, it’s easy to blame
our kids’ behavior on the media garbage that enters their lives. And
as stressed out as parents are today, it’s also easy to turn the
other way when our kids act in rude and disrespectful ways.
But if you do turn the other way from a “teaching moment” like the
one James’ mother had, you’ll have created a whole lot more trouble
for yourself down the road.
We are our child’s main teacher in life. We are surrounded by
sarcasm, rudeness, and aggressive behavior. And we have a choice
about whether our children become part of this kind of culture, or
they adhere to a kinder, gentler, more respectful one. All we need
to do is to commit to what we believe in as mentors for our
children, and to follow through with “right action.”
In the case of James’ mother, she could track down James, and as
soon as they were alone, she could tell him that it’s appropriate to
say “thank you” when she gives him something. She could tell him
it’s also appropriate to greet other adults that are in her group,
and to make eye contact with them.
This can all be done in a calm and kind manner. It can be done many
times each day, depending on the behavior of your child. And while
it may be difficult and aggravating at times to follow up
consistently, the results will never fail to show up in your child.
We must remember that the development of a child is always connected
to the development of a parent. When we show discipline and patience
with our children, they’ll show it to us. When we let go of our
responsibilities, our laziness shows itself in our children just as
clearly.
Parents live in challenging times, but world peace still begins at
home.
Your teaching moments are waiting, along with your children.
Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC,
coaches busy fathers by phone to balance their life and
improve their family relationships. Mark is an Instructor
for the Academy for Coaching Parents (www.acpi.biz), and the
author of “25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers.”
http://www.markbrandenburg.com/father.htm
Visit him and the free
resources at his site at http://www.markbrandenburg.com
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